Updated: Jan 9
Why would you do that? You’re so dumb
Why can’t you be more like _____? You’re so annoying.
Why can’t you accomplish your goals? You’re so unmotivated.
Why didn’t you get the job? You’re so untalented.
Why did you eat so much? You’re such a failure.
Why didn’t you eat enough vegetables today? You’re so unhealthy
Why didn’t they like you? You’re so annoying.
Why didn’t you exercise today? You’re so lazy.
Why didn’t you make an A+? You’re so unintelligent.
Why haven’t you met your goal weight? You’re such a disappointment.
These are just a few of the lies and thoughts we whisper to ourselves daily...and, the list goes on. Unfortunately, it’s in these moments of negative self-talk that we’re least likely to give ourselves grace… despite the fact that those are the times we need it the most.
The first step to giving yourself grace is to step back and realize it’s okay to not have everything figured out. We’re all human. Nobody has it all figured out - even the people who look like they do (The Instagram influencers do NOT have their lives together all the time!) No one is going to do everything perfectly, and that’s okay. Self- compassion is hard work. Believe it or not, there is still a part of you that feels 5 years old. And if you can’t be kind to your current self, try being kind to your 5 year old self. She could definitely use it.
Another thing to remember is that it’s okay to have off days. Life happens. Feeling guilty and ashamed at times is inevitable, but those feelings don't have to interfere with your progress or disrupt your path to accomplish your goals. Giving yourself grace is a practice, one that will only get easier with time. The only way negative feelings can make us stumble or fall is if we let them. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Each time we make the decision to give ourselves grace and take the next step in moving toward recovery and wellness we strengthen our healthy self. The part of us that desires to feel good and stay well.
In what areas of your life have you been too hard on yourself? Have you been too rigid with certain things? Too harsh? Here are some examples of how you can give yourself grace:
If you feel like you didn’t achieve anything today, reflect on what you did accomplish (big or small).
If you feel insecure, try finding at least one characteristic that makes you special or different.
If you are going to a birthday party and want a piece of cake, by all means, have it! All foods can fit into a healthy diet.
If you are exhausted and don’t want to run, take a walk or even a rest day. Listen to your body. Get your rest and try tomorrow!
If you didn’t fit any vegetables in today, plan to have them tomorrow, and don’t stress about it! One meal at a time.
If you binged again, forgive yourself and keep moving forward. Tomorrow is a new day...your past doesn’t define you. You got this!